Chapter 7: How I became a Freak..!!!!

Hey guys wazzap....!!!!!

In this blog I write about probably one of the greatest achievements of my life, something I'm quite proud of n the journey of which will forever spur me on to keep at bay the "part of me I managed to lose", the mass of me  manged to lose..the journey from Gargullah to Gargelete..!!!

Weighty issues...something that has plagued me for allll my life...It seemed like the greatest irony of mankind that I was actually born half a kilo underweight, something on which my over massed leg has perenially been pulled upon...N with typically over reacting Indian parents who could not bear the ignominy of an underfed child, so began the rise n rise of the magnitude of my dimensions...

It was not that I wasn't the outdoor types...I was the chump kid who would be the first to reach the cricket ground n the last to exit it, over enthusiastic towards anything that was sport (n still am...!!!),  it was just one simple problem...i simply ate too much...!!! 

Well the weight grew n grew n grew, the lesser n lesser i seemed to care about it..I started thinking that its something I have to bear n nothing can be done about, or maybe that i was born to be that way....When i'd entered college, i had bloated to a level where if i were to expand any further then the skin concealing my tummy wasnt going to hold it much longer...I'd had to buy pants which were meant for those Past their time Babu's in over Stationarized Govt. Offices(dono where that came up from..!!) n by no means for an average heighted college kid...As school, i was the center of all weighty jokes in the college times....It was in good jest till a point but then I'd slowly started to lose confidence in life...N at 85.5kgs n at 38.5 inch waist size, the bubble snapped...

There r three key essential things for a healthy body as I always say..regulated diet, regulated sleep n regulated exercise of course....For the regulated diet,I'd decided to cut down on the evening snacks, aerated drinks, limit intake of rice, junking to once a week....(Thank god atleast alcohol was never an issue coz that can be the toughest to sacrifice or as i've only heard...!!!)...I'd regulated my routine acc. to the Military routine..(pipedown at 23:00, Rise n Shine at 06:00...yaa i somehow managed it even in the nocturnal DCE hostel..!!! but I'd received such unforgettable taunts for leading this unbelievably drabby routine..) n come hell or high water or those cozy winter mornings...(shockingly i managed to commence this routine in the ultra foggy Jan days..!!), i somehow from somewhere found the will to hit the track...it gained from once a week, to two n then it became more of an addiction than a compulsion..Word of advice for all weight loss aspirants, its a fact that the toughest part is settling into the routine, persisting with it is infact the easiest...!!! My thought process transcended from something of a compulsion to something I'd started enjoying....It gave aim to my life...it gave purpose...I had a mission...a target that i could see my self with every morning...!!!!May i take a note to mention that i am indebted to Das n Ashok for being there throughout the transition phase who sgreed to mentor me through those rigorous times...

N the results were there to see...the shedding process was showing results n in 7 months i'd managed to shed a whopping 21 kgs...My greatest joy came when my mom pulled out a pair of barely used trousers from my 8th grade that had somehow survived  its way through all the shifting to be still there in the closet...I tried it n it fit..!!I felt like such an achiever that day....

Since then I'd decided to take up fitness as an integral part of my routine....Even today I put on the running shoes as n when i get time from work...May it be even once a week...I strongly believe that if the urge for fitness is there in the mind, sooner or later its sure to rub off on the body....The key is, never lose the sanctitude of fitness if you don't want fitness to lose you...

I've managed to inspire lots of people not just in my circle but also a few of them whom i din't even know...!!!N most importantly, i got the "rotting n ailing somewhere in the doldrums" confidence in myself back...Here was the leaner meaner fitter me...N here is when started the new chapter of my college life..."From Pillar to Post"....

N that's the story of how i became a Freak...A Fitness Freak...

Cheers...!!!

Chapter 6: Those 4 Years...I just "Can't help it yaar"..!!!-First Cut

Hi all...

Wowww.....That last blog was heavy man...!!!N to be honest, i think its as good as could poosibly get....the blog i meant, not the door...!!!or the door n not the blog...???....Chalo whatever....so after such an energy sapping blog ( yaa man it takes a lott of energy to string such erratic pieces of literature into something that could flow...m no born writer..!!), i've decided that in the next few blogs, m gonna shed the heavy artillery tailor made for the power shots that were knocking my mind out of the ground n use the lighter willow to keep it more sane n direct...!!!

Well...when i told Das that m contemplating blogging about college, the first question he asked me was, "Saale Modern Mahabharat likh raha hai kya...??"....n its valid...no blog, book pen drive hard disk is big enough to capture even the essence of those 4 yrs we had....

CEE -May 30, 2004 10:00 to 13:00 when i managed to perform...June 12, 2004 15:00 when we came to know i did...My paper went quite well to be honest...For some reason, the perenially hyper-active me held his nerves to manage to perform on what people called the "Last Chance" for the budding Dilli engineers( coz it was the last entrance exam), n when i saw the 592 rank against my roll no., it came as no surprise....

August 2, 2008...The day when 570 of us graduated to the next level in life...One of the most striking things about college is the sheer variety of people u come across...Let me be honest, I was a ghissu back then....quite evident from the ghastly archaic checked shirt, 38 inch pants..(ohh its true..!!) n sneakers i'd worn to college..(still find it hard to believe but its all all true..!!!)...i was too over sized back then...about 84 kgs. if i remember correctly...Wore a hideously thick rimmed frame, had all the attributes that possibly could be contradictory to things that appealed to the female race...

2K4/ME215....That was all i was to anyone who belonged to the other side of the "system" in our college....The system in DCE is very well defined...u have the ones who run the system (Profs, Admin, Wardens, Lab Asses...) n the ones who run away from it (students)....Thats the first thing i learnt about college, that over here, unlike college, the one who survives is the one who can defy the system rather than the one who is most adept at adopting it....

The Admin...i have only one thing to say, they knew how to make a mountain out of a molehill....the periodic fees paying activity which involved a cross country from admin to bank to transit to admin...cracking the critical path which had to be followed in the supply chain and the key players involved....the guy who had the car....or a bandi to cut the line...the most diligent guy who'd turn up first to stand in front of the q n end up doing ur work too...all part of the annual DCE marathon....But still when i look back it all seemed gr8 fun...!!!

The Profs n the lectures...ohh man...they came in all shapes n sizes....From those Profs in whose class the concept of "Silence is Golden" was a necessity for survival rather than choice, to those where 10 children bore the burden of an accounted attendance of 35..!!(i remember the class where Chaudhary marked 7 proxy's back to back..!!)...From the never ending ramblers to the occasional engrossers... n to those who had realized that lectures were a formality n that we were'nt really the formal types..(..only 1 word for them...Legen....dary...!!!..a certain S**h Jayanti we all followed religiously...)...The students did it all in the classes, from the first benchers trying their best to understand the "stuff" which even the profs did not know what it meant...to those desperately hooked to the 1Paisa msg scheme(you could spot them next to the windows as those were the only places u could find network..!!)....those looking to sneak in moments b4 the most critical part of the lecs..(the attendance..!!)...n those who couldn't....People had adopted set roles which seldom changed over the course of time....the labs were the best part in DCE..(barring Workshop n ED...!!) which were scheduled 2 hr sesssions where our college gave us time for mass chitter chatter in which some of the greatest theories invented by mankind were developed....

The Depts, The canteen(Mech/Elec/T5), the Sun-City,the CC, the Library...(2nd yr n the stickcricket fever...!!) were only a part of our memories when it comes to college...The real memories lie of those red stoned structures some 700 mtrs.(2-45 mins by walk/30 secs by bike) away from it-the hostel of DCE...

T.B.C. n C. n C. n C......!!!!!

Cheers...!!!

P.S. I understand that there r some people outside the alleged circle that are gaining interest in this blog...n till i recieve genuine feedback i will struggle to find the motivation to keep it generic....

n this was only a teaser about this topic...it would be better if there is anything in particular that the readers might wanna be interested in it will help in narrowing the scope of this infinitesimal subject...or if there is any topic that u might be interesting in reading...coz m losing out a litl bit on the motivation front....

N feedbacks on the Spinning theory stil awaited....

Chapter 5: The "Spinning Door" and the spinning heads..!!!

DOOR U SPUN

Statutory Warning: I guess except the originator of this concept and yours truly, none of you might be able to decipher the carvings on the above mentioned piece of woodwork so plzz feel free to seek clarification through non-public display sources...

Hmmm....so this blog is for all of you critics whose "AK-47s"..(yaa u need to clear the use of this particular weapon in the literary warfare too...!!!) were pointing at me that the blog was getting too drabby n needed some liveliness...Even though i had initially chucked the idea of scultpting a verbal portrait of this flawless piece of divinitive creation,  the creation of this very concept of the "Spinning theory" urged me on to not let this tale go unsaid....

So from where do I start...????It all started at a dingy but overcrowded basement of an architectural masterclass...(yup i really love that building..), in the midst of hundrerds of peanut- payed over stressed homo sapiens getting stuffed in an oxygen deficient zone, i noticed this slightly diminutive bright shining door from which for some reason i just couldn't draw my attention away from....And as time went by and his mesmerizing but seemingly benign peice of woodwork  seemed to peck its way into all my waking and dreaming thoughts and engulf all my senses ....The door had been located, bells had started ringing, the wait remained for the Door to Spin open...!!!

Well about the door....It was just the type would magnify the value of any architectural demand it had to meet....Perfectly plastered, the door knobs as convenient to operate as you would want them to be, the woodwork just the kind tailor made to survive any kind of termites and any other timber damaging creations on this planet surroundings around it....It was this feature of the door that impressed me the most...Also how easily did could this piece of dwell in the subdued mountings of the one who at this point has no idea about when sense this blog is making to anyone...!!!! 

But pretty soon one thing was made clear...that this door knew how to optimize the termite removal process by allowing a few powerful ones to cling onto it....The turning point came during the great Pater termite and Woodwork voyage to one of my conquered territories..( refer to the "Sport" in me n the most glorious conquest of it..)....when it was realized that just like the sweetest mango is recognized by the bird peck in it, the best wood is recognized by the Pater termite infection in it..!!!but just as the pecked mango makes it recognized as the most luscious, the infected blob in the wood actually makes it recognized as the most imperious ...!!!

Even though i knew all what had transpired, i still ignored myself to sight my eyes on the highly apparent infected blob...This was one piece of furnishing that nothing in this world could murkify in my eyes...be it brewery or termite contagion, it always shined real bright for me....The door I had started to realize was no good for me now, coz all it it would do was disseminate the hideous infection into all my existive spheres......

N then something good happend, I shifted myself away from the epidemized plagued lands to unexplored territories where where i thought I would be safe from all termites human rodents...Lest did I know that awaiting for me were larger, more malicious infectisizers who would sap out the entirety of my mind...(it did required brains to do the stuff....defying the common notion about my bread earning hours..!!) and body...(yaaa I started to shed more mass...contradictory to the though of those who thought it was humanly possible...!!) which led to the continuation blog of the TO BE CONTINUED...!!! 

But one thing is for sure, that piece of timber work was as unique as it gets or it seemed so unique due to the laaargely unexplored and inexperienced carpenter in me...!!!!N i have  also learnt a lesson, i will first look to perfect my carpentry n explore n understand the science of timberwork technology and only after developing a basic understanding of the wood work market n the diversities n the do's n dont's of it will i look for Doors to furnish myself...!!!!

Cheers....

P.S. I am highly indebted to the creator of the "Spinning Door" theory n this one's for u mate..!!!

Chapter 4: Ankur.Garg@workplace.com Part I

Hi all....

Uhhhh....M glad I'm done with chapter 3 yaar...!!!coz u know its a different thing when you're penning down rubbish about yourself but for the first time while blogging i felt a certain pressure to make things as perrrfect as they could be coz i wanted to sculptize the most perrfect things in this world as perfectly as possible....F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Hmm...u know one of my friends told me that i should write about something that they have been oblivious to about me....n except for those 2 humanly incomprehendable BITSians at my workplace(who i hope will read this crap someday..n who've been by some divine intervention still  not been Garganated ...!!) not much really know the ins n outs of what has been transpiring for the last 2 months inside the 4 walls of the semi-constructed deathly gallows some call their "Office"....

Well I used the word "gallows n then not being sure of exact its meaning i looked up at the word web...

GALLOWS- a wooden frame, consisting of a crossbeam on two uprights, on which condemned persons are executed by hanging...

n i realized how perrfectly it describes the place that i spend the "productive" 10 hrs of my weekdays...!!!

Condemned i was on September 3, 2007 when somehow, even though i had till then been declared unfit to be stuffed into one of those mass recruiting kennels had found a shepherd ( shepherd coz they compel to existing as such sheepish individuals..!!!) who lured us by promising greener pastures n took outright advantage of our professional naivety...!!!

Executed was July 7, 2008...the day we became "Bonded Labourers" after signing 51 fate sealing blue pages which even though were yelling out the blunderous decision we were making to seal the deal here, we were at that point more than glad to fall for the trap...!!!

First look at the office was hmm...IMPRESSIVE...CP (naah not Connaught Place, its my first office i told you people about, just dont wanna get things controversial by revealing identities!!)...home to 1000ands of working professsionals from all global Geographies..(one of the first things i noticed at my workplace...)...all running the same rat-race of life...( yaa man rats is what the rigours of life makes us..!!)....the obvious look around for the "BANDIYA KAISI HAIN...( DCE Mech for 4 yrs man...any food seems hoggable after 4 yrs of fasting..!!")...looking out fr college mates, couple of them there...signing docs....opening my first salaried account....PPT's n more of them, each more irrelevant than the other....meeting new n interesting people....getting to know y some others jumped into the well with you....the first week flew by in a jiffy....

I actually enjoyed the first couple of weeks in office....liked the setting....being predominantly with people of same qualificational backgrounds as mine...enjoyed sharing the experiences of 4 of the most glorious years of our lives n realizing the strking similarities in tech schools around this country..!!n all the training sessions nostalgisizing the student in me...just that had comfy chairs n air conditioned settings to doze off in swank conference halls....those aimless afternoons at Barista's n Costs's n Pizza Hut....guesstimating the number of fags being lit at the central court of CP in a day....xploring the extent to which the human body could pepsify n soupify itself(free beverage was quite a revelation for us n our tummies in our formative corporate years..!!yaa Anni m still hooked on the Soupoy..!!) ...n guess what, we were getting paid for all this..!!!wow man life was looking up..!!!

But then the one above us all realized that this kid hasn't done anything in the last 21 years to deserve such joys in his professional life...So he opened the folder named Ankur.Garg, double clicked on workplace, selected JOY and pressed SHIFT+DEL...

He shifted my office from the festivities of CP to the Gallows of SEZ....

N that's where it all ended...n it all began....

TO BE CONTINUED........

 

Chapter 3: Friends, Philosophers n Guides...

Hi...

I actually had planned for this topic fr a little later when i'd probably got a little better at this blogging crap as i wanted it to be perrfect...but then i realized that neither could i wait any longer n curb my emotions within myself to pen this down any longer nor could some of u wait to experience it..!!!thnx guys again fr all the motivation u have given me to try to pour my heart out thru some literary rambling of mine...if the the vocal torture of the garganator wasn't enough..!!!

Well if there's anything that i have really learnt to treasure after leaving college n having to exist in this jungle of hypocritic, cold souled, number crunching humans called the corporate den where no one would spend even a penny of a moment on u without getting a dime out of u in return, it would be how fortunate i have been of having such such wonderful freinds that i have been able to maintain over the course of the last 21 years....even though some feel that it was a blunder to commit to being garganated fr life (sorry guys but...u fell fr it n there's no way out..!!!), but still u all know that its something which, if nothing else would atleast add some flavour to the happenings of your lives...( n a free lifetime subscription to all those nonsensical but still  unavertable gargananisms..!!! but u know what this bloddy totally formal n process oriented job is making me lose my prowess yaar....:-(    

U know i promised that i would keep this post strictly for laughs but i still cant curb myself from  pouring out the emotional aspect of it...  

U know being the only child without parents, i had quite obviously been "more than the usual" close to my parents, especially my mom....like my mom has been a virtual sibling in my life...until a very late stage in my life i used to share everything with my parents...also another reason that i did'nt make too many very very close friends in my formative years was the fact that i changed bases quite often coz of the transferrable nature of my job n was'nt in that mature an age to carry forward my realtionships with my friends forward and most often left them behind...as i grew n the mind, situations, happenings, aspirations, feelings beacme more complex i started to feel that even though the absolute difference in the ages of me n my folks remained constant, the relative age gap started to increase quit significantly....

i needed to bond closer with those with similar mental frame as mine who could relate to me on the same level of mental development as mine....Also i felt that there were too many things which actually might be better unheard by those two of the greatest individuals ever to grace this planet as there was a risk of things being misinterpreted due to the reasons mentioned above....and also someone rightly said that to be closest to someone u need to have some breathing space in between...!!!u know all of us have issues with our folks but trust me, living away from home n all this complexity around me has really made me realize how invaluable HOME is..!!!

Coming back to friendz.....u know i am really fortunate to have them in all genres coz as i had mentioned earlier, its impossible to find a person who is totally complementary to u...

So with Abhay (Gox) i find a person so balanced and wordly wise n despite such a contrast in the actual thought process of ours only god knows how we mange to connect at such a level man...!!!..(FYI chk out his blog goxal.blogspot.com  totally Legen.........dary...!!!)...one of my oldest friends n the guy whose seen me complete the full circle....

Then Gaurav ( the most romantic single guy..), Sharma (naah dude i never felt that the "JI" was for me to use..., and Das Babu..( whose actually a certified Babu now...naah dude not just one of those Garg certifications but its by the Govt. OF India..!!)...the pillars on which my 4 years of college existence were structured on...u know i dont have any words at all to describe ths tripod ...so if u wanna describe them thengoogle up fr" the importance of oxygen for a living organism" n thats what they have been for me through 4 years of college life and beyond....sorry man but i need a complete post to elaborate on the tripod..!!

Animesh a.k.a. Anni a.k.a. Bihari Kurt Kobain....Pata nahi yaar a guy whose got such a personality, n composure n patience n such JASBA..( FYI he's the base guitarist of a Band called Jasba...www.jasbamusic.com ) how chicks aint going totally bonkers over this dude...!!!the female gender was born dumb, i see no other logical explanation..!!! n thank god there's atleast 1 person at my workplace whom i can pour my heart out to...!!!

Ashok...a.k.a. Leonidas...perinially waging a fictious battle against this world but the most most sincerely helpful guy...

Anshul Batra...Batranomics...the "mai karunga", hypocritically insecure, "sure to reach no lower than the stars", nocturnal pepsoholic guy....

Rajwant....Mr. Logic personified...( thnx fr such encouraging words on the blog..!!)

Jayant...the perfect coconut....rock solid from the outside...(literally man...what a physique the guy has.!!) n so mellow from the inside...!!!!

My 3 roomies...Ankit Gupta, Nigam and Bhaskar....three of the most diverse people but all so critical for the "Family"....

n....also a little note on the "Third" angle amongst this all....something that always exists at the back of my mind...maybe not so sure about the magnitude of the existence....some say fictitious it maybe...maybe someday the third angle i would be able to blog about it....maybe never...but its something i'll try not to lose hope on....or lose hope over it in life atleast....

Cheers...!!!

Chapter 2: A VERSE on "U n I" in this Universe.....

Hi ppl....

First of all thanks a ton on such encouraging words on the first blog...its given me a real push to pen down Chapter 2....

Someone rightly said that a friend is someone who knows all about u but still is your friend....i strongly believe that your friends are the most accurate yardstick on which u can measure yourself...U will realize that your closest friends are those whom you can sense by a mere Hello of theirs....There's a strong reason I am writing about friends...coz too often i have found myself guilty of not valuing them n taking them too much for granted.....but still i consider myself fortunate enough that they have been so forgiving to me that despite my endless acts of impulsive  eccentricities i have always found them forgiving me....

I still however fail to understand why are their people who to no end have the patience to bear my craziness which on most occasions i have been thankless about..!!!to be honest sometimes i feel that they're just a bunch of real generous people who try to kind to everyone...

U know its very important to have all genres of friends in life...coz for any average person its difficult to find someone who can be complementary to him in each and every aspect of his....

Quite often it happens that if a person is in a grp of very similar people,he'll tend to shed traits of his n adopt traits of those around him just to fit into a particular group....especially when we have to settle into a new environment, we generally try to atune ourselves to the likings n dislikings of the social environment around us rather than give people a taste of who we usually are....we often try to make people portray us the way they would be most comfortable in us being as a an individual rather than them getting to see the individual we really are....

C'mon be honest with urself....its something almost all of us are guilty of....Thats what makes a person as "just another person" rather than being the person we are and there's one thing for a fact that every person in this world is special for the way he truly is....This thought really hit me when I realized to realize that in office the main reason i havent been comfortable even after 2 months of my joining is probably because i have changed myself so much n tried so hard to fit into the system as an identity that is tailor-made for it  that it had started to suffocate my original self under the weight of this "made for the  system" i was trying to make myself to be....

It irritated me so so so much when i saw this foreign-return US mentality picked up joker who all he did all day was do the classic IMAGE BUILDING in the I AM JUST WHAT U'RE LOOKING FOR TO GEL ALONG IN YOUR GROUP sense n coud'nt give a damn about what was professionally or personally ethical or not.....but then is this act of faking ur true self in front of others ethical to yourself..????

U know i've heard a phrase being commonly used called identity crisis these days...Its supposed to mean a crisis of being recognized in front of others....Yes with the cut-throat competition people will suffer from identity crisis..But i feel identity crisis is a positive impact in this sense as atleast you have the urge in your mind that you need to do something so that people recognize you n that you get noticed...Often people suffering from this are considered losers who are craving to be noticed....All i can say is that losers are those who suffer not from identity crisis but the lack of an identity in them......

Well to be honest i am still wondering why i got sentimental over this issue but i have realized that as time goes by we let too much of the system we exist in get the better of us....by no stretch of imagination to i feel that we should all the professional rebels....all we have to try to do is to co-exist with the system rather than either trying to become a system or becomming a prototype of one....coz the only way to complete the verse of the Universe is to have "U n I" in unison else the verse shall remain incomplete...!!!

Well what ever i rambled above made absolutely no sense to me....if it did to u then plzz don't shy away from posting ur comments...

Cheers...!!!!

Chapter 1...y i needed to create a blog account..!!

Hi ppl.....

First sumthin abt me...

m Ankur 21 yr old engineer just out of college currently working fr a Research firm in Gurgaon...m staying here in a rented place with a couple of college mates...My folks putting up in Pune...

First very obvious questions...y did i need to create a blog account..??

Well i've been living away from home fr the past mnths,n recently lot of thoughts have been passing through my mind...now even though the human mind is believed to hav a hard disk capacity of trillions ofd bytes,most of us r guilty of using less than prob .001% of out total capacity....we go n buy 1000 GB harddisks n splash 10's of G's but don't value the large unexplored spaces of the human mind....

i've seen a lot n hav been affected by too many things in the past few months n had this really strong urge to pen it all down as locking it up all in my head had started to drive me crazyy...

n also thr r too many thoughts that u cant expect ppl to analyze and resolve with others as some thoughts u cant expect ppl to understand at the same level as urself.....but the day u do manage to find that person, u hav prob found ur soulmate n consider urself to be a very lucky person..!!!( or m probably just getting too influenced by Brida...!!!).....

Human thoughts are indeed very complex...n if u don't hav complicated thoughts that u dont think abt in life, then it means ure not stretching the possibilities around u to the extremes...Though till some time back i hardly thought abt things but then i felt that i was quite a thoughless person n intellectually impotent...not that i consider myself to be a "GURU" in any sense now, atleast i feel that my thought process has started to grow aleast at some level n hav started looking at things a little more explorably...but then again it might also mean that m not really doing too much else productively that i am thinking more abt the few things rather than doing more things n create more events to think abt...

yes...this has really started to bother me lately.....but then again,getting more emotionally n intellectually mature in life is also quite important....its kind of a catch 22 situation to be honest...

hmmm.....

another very prime reason fr me to start blogging....i had started to realize that i was thinking n spending too much time thinking abt others lives rather than looking at what was happening in my own..!!!big indication fr me to start doing sumthin productive to keep me occupied as it was  not only really bugging the only ppl who probably cared fr me bu also i started to feel like a real loser with no aims n aspirations....not that this is sumthin that'll fetch me the stars but atleast keeping me away from buugging others...

the third reason.......i was losing my power of garganisms..!!!!yaah.....seriously i started to feel that since i wasnt around ppl with the same freq as mine it slowly lead to depricating my thought process n i dint hav to stretch even a wee bit to be challenged with coming up with smart n witty things as i was no longer in an atmosphere that demanded it....so often it had started to happen that a garganaism popped up n with no one around to share it, i more often than not had to let it implode inside of me which were givin me really bad tummy aches....to devoid myself of such medical hazards n keep my digestive system healthy, i had become desperate to find a place to vent it all out n also whr i dint need to be liable to find anyone to vent it at...so i found this to be one of the most logical solutions..

well....cudnt develop too much of a flow in this session coz of sum troublesome roomies who thought that their replying to orkut scraps was way more important than my nonsensic rambling which predominantly wasnt even fr anyone to see.....

well....still havent got the real kick out of the blogging as i thought...but probabaly that'll come around as i get into penning down some more contentful stuff that's happening in life n things affecting me...like 21,n aspiraions in life...abt how life is living in the real world...the corporate jolts n swings...n esp when u've been thrown into the deep end in the very beginning....abt relationships n the lack of existence of it....abt CAT,crushes n getting crushed under the 2.....abt parents....friends......food.....football......fear......fantasies........still so much to say...!!!!